Guan Xi.

Figured I shouldn't be such a stubborn cow about some things. No matter what I feel, or dislike, or think, about some people, there can be value to what they say or are, even if they are lacking in other departments of their lives. Am trying to tell myself that there can be things to learn. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

So I've been trying really hard to be nice, sweet, smiley, concerned, enthusiastic, friendly, during the past couple of months -- just hope I don't choke on the sugar OD. For a while, some people at work didn't know how to react to me (where I sit, you don't usually see my face until I turn around to acknowledge your presence), especially the ones I dislike, who found themselves greeted with an open smiling face. And so I learnt the power of a disarming smile and the endearing schoolgirl giggle, and how they sometimes got you what you want, by the "unprofessional" way. And hey, it was good MF while it lasted. Heh.

On another note, work contacts are slowly warming up to me. They usually ask to speak with R, because she's often their first point of contact, and certainly more approachable. Used to feel a bit unhappy about it, but sometimes, it works out, like when I've got to be the "bad guy".

Still, drawing a line between work and pleasure remains an important working principle for me. Hanging out after office hours is usually not an option -- not unless I like you AND you show that you are interested to know me as a friend. (Indeed, I've made one exception recently, by inviting her to my birthday dinner.)

You can say I'm skeptical, but sometimes, don't you get the feeling that a lot of friendly banter is just a superficial show? Maybe that's why I don't count many people as my friends. The mere suggestion of insincerity turns me off quickly. To me, the biggest mistake would be to jump on the outward show of friendliness too readily, take it at face value, and thus let down your guard too easily. Personal issues are only to share with friends -- NOT with colleagues and business contacts. Afterall, if you can understand the need for "guan xi" to further your own agenda, surely you wouldn't expect the other party, who also engages in "guan xi", to not use it against you? Worse still, if they hold you at ransom instead, because they realise that they can.

In any case, making someone a friend so that you can use him for business, or for anything else, is not ethical in my books. (Well, not usually lah.)